It's been a while since I've posted. I've been busy. At any rate, I'v been working on a new project and it has been fun. If you are looking for an excellent read, I strongly suggest that you visit:
Per Contra
It is still an infant, but it was born with style and substance. Hope to see you there.
Every team I was rooting for on Saturday lost. Ole Miss bought it on a last second field goal. My new "Home Team," Penn State, loses it with 0's on the clock and I swear if anyone I know finds out I was pulling for Notre Dame, I'm deadski. If you don't know about that game, well, you don't like football.
So I'm in this office pool and I'm getting scrapes from being drug along the bottom of the pool. No kidding. I spent hours developing a statistical formula and came up 7-7 for the effort. So this last weekend, I decided "No more Jedi Mind Tricks." I used the force.
I was 8-1 after the 1pm games. I WAS ROCKING. If not for Pittsburgh (who put tommy Maddox on the field in spite of having several far more talented and willing High School quarterbacks in the stands), I would have been 9-0. EIGHT AND ONE, baby. I was in the grrrrrooooooooooooooooooove.
Can we have a serious football discussion for a moment?
What the hell happened to the Pats? Set aside those injuries. All I've heard for 2 friggin' years is s-y-s-t-e-m. Miami beat the doggie poo out of Denver, surely the "ALMIGHTY SYSTEM" could get the job done (speaking of doggie poo, Miami and the dope smoking miracle were served a pile of it beaten freshly out of them by the 5-1 NFC South Leading "woeful, pathetic, incapable of making the playoffs, lesser than" Bucs yesterday - SEE: "You are what your record says you are." - Bill Parcells, notable Cowboy Coach and sure fired hall of famer once he dies and can't come out of retirement.)
Nope. The s-y-s-t-e-m had to make a furious comeback to make the score look respectable. 8-2. Never thought I'd see the day when Buffalo saved me from an 0-for late games at 4 in the afternoon. They done it, though. But the horror that is Oakland, oh dear.
Raider Nation serving as L.T.'s bitch? Say it ain't so Lyle Alzado. That was a sham. In Oakland. Pitiful it was, Yoda might say. But for Seattle doing what they should have done, I might well have finished 9-4.
And my survivor "lock" was Atlanta. Thank you Jesus and the 15, or whatever, apostles for a (in the words of Jim Haslett) "chickensh-t" holding call.
So, once the Colts beat the aforementioned doggie poo out of St. Louis tonight, I go to 11-3 for the week, landing me in a smug and respectable 30th place out of fifty on the season, BUT THIRD THIS WEEK.
The Mojo is coming on. Anyone have a lock this weekend? Can't use Pats, Eagles, Jags, Bengals, Colts or Falcons. Oh well, the force might be with me. Or not. Maybe I'll give the apostles another try.
Still working on the keeping track of Allah's mercy assignment, day 4. So, we've seen quite a bit this week. But there is more.
Now we're all aware that the bird flu has been particularly bad in Asia, even though Asia has a high population of followers of a certain deity. But now, Iran has dead birds out the wazoo. Iran? Their great satan hating credentials are impeccable!
Read the full story.
I'm telling you, if I was blowing up women and children to make my god happy and he sent me the bird flu, I'd be getting a new god. Sheesh. Of course, could just be the Ramadan trips to the mall that are doing this.
The Counter Inquisition has, through exhaustive searching comprised of scanning the New York Times' International section, discovered a potential source for religious consternation among adherents to a certain religion that has claimed a unique purity among certain sects chosen by those adherents. Phew. That's a lot harder than writing poopie-headed Al Queda.
Anyway, it turns out that Santa Claus is going cross cultural. Check this out-
From the New York Times -
Ramadan Ritual: Fast Daily, Pray, Head to the Mall
By HASSAN M. FATTAH
Published: October 12, 2005
DUBAI, United Arab Emirates, Oct. 7 - The decorations are hanging, the cash registers are clanging, and the air of holiday cheer is everywhere. For a holy month, Ramadan is not what it used to be.
Once an ascetic month of fasting, prayer and reflection on God, Ramadan has gradually taken on the commercial trappings of Christmas and Hanukkah, from the hanging lights that festoon windows to the Ramadan greeting cards and Ramadan sales and advertising campaigns that have become the backbone of commerce for the month.
Marketers and businesses have caught on to the potential of 1.3 billion people at home fasting or breaking their daily fasts and getting back to normal life, a captive audience eager for entertainment and celebration, and more than willing to feast when the sun goes down.
Here in Dubai, the region's supermall, commercialism has taken on a life of its own as almost everything has been dressed in the cloak of Ramadan, from consumer goods to cars. Malls are open till the early morning, and the nights rock away at dinner parties in desert tents.Read the full story
So much for the holier than thou crap. A chill wind is blowing (don't you just hate that cliche?) across the desert of the Holy. Ok, so camels are pulling the sleigh, what's the difference?
This just in: Al Jazeera reports that dozens of people were seen in the mall.
Here's tinsel in your eye, Osama. Want a candy cane?
In the interest of getting a better understanding about the nature of a certain deity, I decided to keep track of things for a week or so, just to see where the hostile winds are blowing.
From News Central Asia-
Slow Cotton Harvest Leads to Dismissal of 13 Governors in Turkmenistan
Ashgabat, 7 October 2005 (nCa) --- The slow cotton harvest that has been the source of concern for the last several weeks, led Thursday to mass dismissal of provincial and district governors in Turkmenistan. Two provincial and several district governors were dismissed by President Niyazov right during a meeting in Mekan hall, Ashgabat.
Governor of Labap province has been sacked and reappointed as governor of a district in Ahal province. Governor of Mary has been dismissed and he has been offered job as teacher in an institute.
Governors of 11 districts - Farab, Koitendag, Tagtabazar, Oguzkhan, Mary (district), Sarakhs, Tejen, Kakhka, Altyn Asyr, Baharly, Goekdepe - and deputy governor of Ahal province were dismissed and their successors appointed. Read the full story (If you must)
Now, I'm pretty sure that a bunch of the adherents of a certain deity were harvesting that cotton. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Did we miss by a continent on the old hostile winds again?
From the World Tribune.com-
"Muhammad Yousef Al-Mlaifi, director of the Kuwaiti Ministry of Endowment's research center, published an article titled "The Terrorist Katrina is One of the Soldiers of Allah, But Not an Adherent of Al-Qaeda."(1) the Aug. 31 edition of the Kuwaiti daily Al-Siyassa. Following are excerpts:"
"...As I watched the horrible sights of this wondrous storm, I was reminded of the Hadith of the Messenger of Allah [in the compilations] of Al-Bukhari and Abu Daoud. The Hadith says: 'The wind is of the wind of Allah, it comes from mercy or for the sake of torment. When you see it, do not curse it, [but rather] ask Allah for the good that is in it, and ask Allah for shelter from its evil.'
"When the satellite channels reported on the scope of the terrifying destruction in America [caused by] this wind, I was reminded of the words of [Prophet Muhammad]: 'The wind sends torment to one group of people, and sends mercy to others.' I do not think — and only Allah [really] knows — that this wind, which completely wiped out American cities in these days, is a wind of mercy and blessing. It is almost certain that this is a wind of torment and evil that Allah has sent to this American empire."
So Allah controls everything? OK. But wait, what about this from CNN?
"Pakistan puts quake toll at 18,000 - Emergency workers toil through the night; deaths high in Kashmir - Saturday, October 8, 2005; Posted: 11:32 p.m. EDT (03:32 GMT)
Oops. Looks like ol' Allah needs a mulligan. And for a further look at how distorted things can get -
From the ever reliable and journalistically unimpeachable Al Jazeera-
"Dozens die in Pakistan earthquake - Saturday 08 October 2005, 10:21 Makka Time, 7:21 GMT
Why, in the name of Allah, can't Al Jazeera even get this one right? I'm sure it's because every soul in Pakistan is trying to help the U.S. that Allah sent the quake to kill dozens/thousands. Say, weren't those jerks in London from Pakistan. Allah is soooooooooooooo complicated.
Hope the rocks fell on Osama. He's probably sorting out the accident too. I mean, come on, who wants to die for a diety who can't even hit the right continent? Please. I'm having a bacon sandwich and going to bed.
It's that time of year again. With all of the important things going on: hurricanes, wars and indictments, oh my... I thought I'd hit on something critical.
You see, the problem with the world is that we sometimes take things way too seriously and we don't relax. By the way, have you given anything for hurricane relief yet? Anyway, I'm just burned out on everything right now.
Except my new, shiny, Cadillac.
If you've been watching the first three weeks of the NFL season, then you've heard of him. He runs like the wind and is a punishing run finisher.
I've been a bunch of things in my day. I've had many unique and fascinating friends come and go. I've been all over the world.
But I've always been a Buc fan. And during the last two years returning to the valley of the shadow of death, I have feared that the boys might be done for in the short term.
Then along came the Cadillac.
We Buc fans have long speculated just how dangerous our defense would be if only it had a running game to keep it rested. Even when we were kicking the dog poo out of Oakland in the Super Bowl, many of the faithful were wondering how hideous the score could have been with a bruiser in the backfield (and Pittman had one heck of a game).
Always we longed for "THE" back. That one special guy who could take a game and put it on ice. The guy who could sit Brett Farve's talented behind firmly on the bench until he got up long enough to toss a pick to a well-rested Buc safety. Now, brethren of the crossed swords, we got one.
So when I listen to the Philly talk show homers talking about Carolina and Philly being the class of the NFC, I have to laugh. These are the same homers who were packing their bags back when the Bucs last rolled into town in January. The complete lack of respect boggles the mind.
It's a long road to Detroit, but you can bet that if our Caddy keeps his wheels on the turf, that road begins at the other end of Interstate 75, down in the Sunshine State.
So, Philly homers, keep talking about the Panthers and the Falcons and whatever dead meat you can scavenge out of the NFC North and West. But make sure you get those well worn crying towels out if you think that it ends there. It may be you're heading to Tampa come January. And, for literary effect, the only hell hotter than the spotlight of angry Philly fans is the heat of a Tampa January Sunday when the boys are pounding you on offense and running you through the back of the end zone on defense.
I hear Detroit is lousy in January. You guys can stay home and let us take care of representing the NFC. Hey, that may just be an order. Keep yapping.
Looking for Katrina's silver lining? Check out the long lines of traffic snaking out of Houston 2 days before Rita's landfall. Looks like some lessons were learned well.
Best of luck to Houston. Hopefully, Rita will decrease in intensity before landfall also.
Hurricane Rita is barreling toward the Gulf Coast. Would the person with whom God is angry please turn himself/herself in to the appropriate authorities. I'm just kidding, the Taliban isn't.
Ok, but on a serious note, if Allah is so angry with us, why aren't we living in squalor in the middle of an ugly desert surrounded by highly armed and well trained men trying to kill us? Not yet, you say? Pessimist.
We'll rebuild whatever gets knocked down. No thanks on the burqas.
The President took responsibility for the Federal Government's poor response time in New Orleans. Ok, manly thing to do. The bureaucratic malaise was awful. The Homeland Security Department was overwhelmed.
The President's solution?
Build more layers of bureaucracy. Ugh. Whatever happened to Reaganism? This is not good.
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