Now Playing: Football Lingo
Topic: It's a wrap
Training camp is back in full swing, T.O. is whining and offensive linemen across America are cursing double cheeseburgers. Must be football season again. In honor of America's sport, I wrap this week with football lingo.
Holding: President Bush - clinging to the past with a less-than-sweeping, beholden to the oil people, energy bill. We could have done better. Way better.
I-left, 70 Venezuela, stomp on human rights and mug for the camera, on one, break: Hugo Chavez. The paragon of human decency and civil rights (yes, I'm laughing) has his own network. Pravda and Al Jazeera, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes TELESUR in a baby carriage.
Wide right: Jerry Falwell - berating the "gay agenda," again. Would someone please find the homosexual who has the agenda and tell him to stop inciting everyone? Sheesh.
Personal foul, unsportsmanlike conduct: Philadelphia Inquirer. For pulling a televangelist and preaching against the very same sins they commit. And while we're having this little talk, maybe the PI hasn't heard, but, like, this military intelligence outfit found this Atta dude, like, a year before 9/11, or something. D'oh, scooped again...
Ejected from the game: Anti-Semites. Boy I wish.
This week's indulgence, why not? It's done more for me in one day than any radical mullah ever will:

The new week is here!